PARLIAMENT GYM TO GET A MAKEOVER COURTESY OF THE TAXPAYER – Austerity strapped taxpayers now have to fork out £250,000 so that Ministers and MPs are able to have Parliament’s gym fully refurbished.
Seriously folks if you really want a taste of the good-life then get a job in politics. Don’t worry about the application form if you are under-qualified, just lie, oh and don’t forget to lie some more and if you can show yourself to be completely irresponsible and incompetent then the chance are you’ll eventually become the Prime Minister; although it really helps if you went to the right schools and have inside connections.
Yes, the skies the limits awaits those who make it into the House of Commons.
Just stop and think how lucrative being a Minister or an MP is. For starters you don’t have to work at all. Recent reports clearly showed that the House of Commons has an unprecedented number of hours logged online for all manner of activities that include viewing pornography, facebook and rather questionable swinging websites.
Ah no, no research of any kind or anything that is remotely connected with work but I doubt very much you are shocked at these revelations.
There’s also access to the Bar – oh yes and William Hague is certainly more than particular about what he drinks. Quaffing champagne, fine cognacs or malt whiskies is only but the tip of the iceberg compared to all the vintage wine that is consumed.
Certainly after a stressful day’s work of guzzling booze whilst looking at porn sometimes leads to medical problems but that’s not an issue for there’s a full time dedicated health clinic to help our politicians recover.
Now getting in the party mood with colleagues is not really an issue for there’s no need to put your hand in your pocket for the cost of a late night taxi cab.
No you simply order one of the minions to bring the Jag around so that you’re inebriated body is whisked through the streets of London to your nice comfy Georgian mansion – that you are charging the taxpayer for.
Another great benefit is that you can spread your workload by employing family members. It’s irrelevant if they are capable or not and in fact the more incompetent the better, for you can blame them for any mistakes making your own job look even more more valuable to the taxpayer in the process. Yes, two can live as cheaply as one; providing you both have well paid jobs and keeping Parliament in the family certainly helps ward off any ill-conceived austerity measures imposed on the minions.
Life in the halls of power is tough and so each year there will be an internal vote to up the salaries by £10,000.
Worries about your annual holiday, or in fact whether you could even afford a trip to Skegness? That’s a trivial matter for Minters and MPs for they get more time off work than our school kids and even the Prime Minister has taken no less than FOUR holidays abroad this year.
No need to consult the taxpayer for it’s none of their business. Yes, it will get out and the taxpayer will moan but don’t worry about them because theirs is nothing they can do about it.
What are you thinking… being voted out and losing your job? Not a problem because you would have already earned yourself a nice big fat platinum pension and of course as long as Britain is forced to stay in the EU, because politicians refuse a referendum, there’s a nice over-paid cushy job as an EU Commissioner where you can continue your extravagant lifestyle at the taxpayer’s expenses.
I don’t see what the public are moaning about, after all £250,000 is peanuts compared to what most MPs and Ministers are able to rape the taxpayer for each year; unfortunately this gym refurbishment will only keep them healthier and live longer to continue doing what they do best – not an awful lot.
More on this story… Daily Mail