WANT A HAPPY WIFE? …WORK MORE! – A recent study has shown that among married couples, the woman is happier when the husband works longer and more often. It is also discovered that the stay-at home woman also benefits from a healthier life.
Read the full story… Telegraph
Meebal Reader Dee Says…
You may remember an article a few months ago “A Woman’s Place is in the Home” that while humorously poking fun at the ideals of long ago households, did carry a lot of truth and is in agreement with the study cited above.
Not being partial to the opinions of meebal, I found that particular article was correct on so many levels, while it also seemed belittling on others. This study prompted me to write my own version of the same topic.
While I have had the benefit myself of being a stay-at-home wife and mother these last 20 years, I did work during the early years of our 31 year marriage until my husband was settled in his career when it was decided that the time had come for me to take my rightful place in the home.
Now before you get all up in my face that I am a brainwashed ninny for believing that women belong in the home, listen carefully and allow me to explain. Men and women are different; physically, mentally and emotionally.
From the time they are born, women are geared to nurture and be peace keepers. It is in our genetic make-up and we gravitate naturally to situations that require those skills; the most important of which is raising the next generation.
Men, on the other hand lean towards hunting, conquering and building. These traits serve them well in the competitive workplace and recreation. Not tied to their emotions, they can accomplish any task with minimal distraction or hidden agendas.
Men are designed to provide and protect those around them and when they marry, that makes the lucky woman and any offspring full recipients of all they have to offer today and in the future.
As a wife standing alongside her husband, we encourage, support and help him to continually look forward assuring him of our love and in our belief that he can accomplish any goals he may have set for himself and the family.
Unfortunately, these basics of life have been lost over the years and men are falling by the wayside as women aggressively seek their own financial independence and what they consider to be an equal say in their relationships.
Well ladies, it doesn’t work that way and no matter how much you believe it does, it can’t. Men are meant to lead and when we take the reins chaos will follow.
Now don’t mistake what I just said to mean that a man should rule the house with an iron fist because that is not acceptable; a man who truly loves his wife will always put her needs ahead of his own and in today’s economy, that means working extra hours, even if it means more than one job.
Our world is upside down; there are too many single mothers, divorced couples with children and women who refuse to look at their husbands as anything more than a roommate with benefits. They are willing to live together; under the guise that marriage is simply a piece of paper, when in fact it is an agreement that two lives will become one.
By simply living together, there is no responsibility or accountability between each other. In fact, couples who live together and then marry rarely make the role adjustment of one person being “the head of household.”
In the same vein, many working couples keep their finances or some portion separate from each other, after all her argument would be that she is working and has a right to keep it and his would follow suit in the thinking that if she is working, then whatever amount she chips in allows for him to have “extra.”
Do you see what just happened here? Neither person is fully giving to the other, but looking out for themselves. She does not allow him to provide and he in turn is not willing to sacrifice.
The same happens once the children come along. As most mothers will tell you, they cringed when they saw the father of the child change his first diaper, give a bath or discipline. Perhaps, as the mom you even corrected his actions or confronted him when you disagreed with his methods.
How many times did you tell your friends or mutter under your breath that “he doesn’t know what he is doing?” If you recognized that fact, doesn’t it just confirm that your place should be as the primary caregiver?
Can a husband help with the children; indeed he can and he should, but the lead should be taken by his wife and he would do well to listen and learn.
When it comes to working outside the home, whether it is a few hours or a full-time job, a woman then comes home to still have everything left for her to accomplish. Fixing meals, doing laundry, checking homework and giving baths; everything it takes to keep the house running smoothly. It is a hectic and tiring routine.
Many husbands pitch in with household chores but because of their genetic coding, few ever come by it naturally and this is the reason they need reminded or asked so often. Their work is outside the home and when they come home, it is time for family.
If more men and women would embrace the ways they are different and excel in those areas, not only would life in the home be more pleasant, their personal lives would also benefit because that is how we are designed.
I understand that often it does take two incomes to keep a home afloat but it is also clear that generally, too many men are happy with sending their wives off to work so that they do not have to commit themselves to the task of providing.
By relying solely on the husband to provide for the household, he is raised up as the leader in the home and he shows his wife that she is the most important person in his life and that he will take his role seriously; this is the basis for a solid marriage.
When both work, it has a dramatic impact on the structure of the home and family, revealing that family life is no longer a priority; rather the acquiring of goods and status are more important and it is the husband who sets this tone.
As a one income family, we did without many of the things that other families couldn’t live without. We lived simply, made use of the free events offered by parks, museums and communities and spent our time together; all of us.
None of this would have happened if my husband had been lazy or selfish or if I felt the need for “more” than what he could provide. His work ethic has cared for the family in ways that most people would not understand and my hope is that by standing alongside him through the good and the hard times; that the investment we have put into building a life will last until one of us passes away.
There are no guarantees in this world, but we each make our own happiness and my advice would be that each of us needs to learn how to be content, to appreciate what we have and to love one another completely.
And yes, the secret to a happy marriage is a hard-working husband.